Trick or, oh sorry

Here, Halloween is an unusual experience.

The local conservation association circulated a flyer, printed on orange paper, to explain how it all works:

"Halloween: what is it?
Halloween is a holiday celebrated on the 31st of October, in which children dress up and go door to door collecting sweets."

Seriously.  If you live in a country where Halloween is a given, consider yourself fortunate.  There are many, many people here who simply do not understand the concept.

Take, for example, those who posted notices on their doors instructing Trick-or-Treaters to Kindly Piss Off, or something to that effect.  Show me a house with a sign like that in the US and I'll show you a house where the owner will spend the next six months scraping dried egg off the vinyl siding and trying to ignore the odor of burnt dog shit outside his front door.

Last year, we encountered a lady who, after distributing sweets to most of the children at her door, decided that she'd handed out enough for one go and shooed the rest away, unrewarded for their efforts. Tonight, a woman handed a single Cadbury bar to our children and their friend and told them to "split this three ways" before slamming the door on them.  The children still chorused "thank you" at the unlit doorway.

One very nice lady, an American judging from her accent, handed out Monster Munch crisps.  Despite the appropriate name, I think these missed the mark, as I don't believe I've ever heard anyone offer trick-or-treaters a choice of "fiery hot, roast beef or pickled onion."

Halloween here is somewhat surreal and is still very much a word of mouth thing.  And this, I think, underscores the major difference between Halloween here and in America.

In the States, you can't possibly NOT understand Halloween.  It's been so oversold, so over-commercialized, so over-hyped, that you'd have to have lived under a rock or in an institution your entire life to have avoided it.  Here, there are people who just honestly don't get it.  They are taken aback every year by encounters on the street with short, oddly dressed people.  They do not understand why children keep knocking on their door when they leave their outside light on. They require an explanation in the form of an orange flyer containing helpful instructions to either attract or repel oddly-dressed children on the eve of All Saint's Day.

Here, Halloween feels very much like it did when I was a kid, before Hallmark started flogging Halloween cards (HALLOWEEN CARDS, for Christ's sake.  Think about that for a minute.), before the local Dollar Tree began stocking 50-pound bags of second tier candy like Phlegm Balls and Asbestos Chews.  Halloween here feels a little edgy and vaguely dangerous.  Halloween here is still a bit lawless, like it was before the adults back home started fussing about it and making up rules.

Here, children still dress in black, blissfully unaware of their American brethren's requirement to swaddle themselves in so much reflective material that they are visible from space.  Here, children scramble from house to house, tripping over half-buried roots in the dark and crossing roads when and where they please.  Here, children do not wear blinking trainers or carry flashlights.  Here, parents do not chauffeur their cherished offspring about in belching SUVs, little Tyler and Taylor buckled into their 5-point safety harnesses like towheaded F-16 pilots watching Disney DVDs between houses.  Here, the hospitals will not X-ray the children's candy.

Here, there are no set hours for Halloween.  Here, people set off fireworks.  Here, jack-o-lanterns are lit with actual candles and here, even the older children still dress up and say "Trick or Treat".  Here, kids don't just shuffle up, open their sacks and shuffle away again.   Here, people still laugh or act frightened when they open the door to a cadre of skeletons and witches and cats.  Here, Halloween is still innocent, uncorrupted by meddling parents and officious busybodies.

Here, despite the cynicism of this chilly, expensive city gnawing away at your soul like a giant rat, Halloween still has a bit of wonder and magic about it.  Here, Halloween is still pure.

Fiery Hot for me, please.