Moving Again - With Children

It's been a while, yes. 

For those of you who check this page regularly, I'm sorry that I haven't been more disciplined about posting.  And for those of you who are easily disappointed, I'm even sorrier for what you're about to read.  But let's face it - you're an adult and it's not my job to keep you from being disappointed.  So I'll say here, now, it's official, insofar as anything in the banking industry is ever official - we're moving back to the US.

This may change, and our children (whom, I would add, it IS my job to try to protect from a certain amount of avoidable disappointment, or at least from life's endless buffet of pain and prosternation) are unaware of this impending move.  So please don't talk about it in front of them.  I will also add now that I am not entirely pleased about this move.  Our secret, yes?

By way of explanation, and just because I feel like it, let us consider some widely held misconceptions about my adoptive country, this place that I love:

1. "Taxes are higher".  This may be true.  In the UK, we have a very simple tax system.  There are 9 deductions (mostly applicable to those are either blind or who were born before 1935) and 4 tax rates (source).  While these rates may be slightly higher than thay are in the US, the taxes here are fair and do not lend themselves to cheating.  The government does not offer a direct incentive to own a home or to bear large numbers of offspring who may later take up the cause of consumerist consumption.  I filed my UK taxes in less time than it took the kids to pick up their Legos.  I owed 50p.  Compare this to the £600 I pay annually to have my US taxes compiled neatly into a stack of 30 or so A4 sheets to be sent to the local embassy.

2.  "Nationalized healthcare is shambolic".  This may also be true. To avoid using the UK National Health System, I pay £1888.80 per year for private health insurance.  Even taken as a direct comparison this compares favorably with the $8000 or so that I paid annually for health coverage in the US; but to this, I must add that my coverage in the US was, in a word, shite.  Even with Blue Cross I not only forked over a $30 copay for every office visit, but I also footed 20% of every medical bill.  Here, I pay, um, NOTHING.  I had £250 worth of bloodwork recently.  I paid NOTHING.  I had an MRI done of my head and spine, the bill for which came to £1600.  If you are the sort of dullard who learns only through repetition - perhaps you are a hockey fan - I shall reiterate: I paid NOTHING.  Had these tests been carried out in the US I'd have been out about $350 (assuming an oversimplified unit to unit currency conversion).  OK, so you might say that this is not a valid comparison - private health insurance does not adequately represent the general experience in a nationalized system.  And to you, dear detractor, I say in the nicest way, 'Bollocks, You Ignorant Tosser'.  Several years ago, Michael had not one, but two injuries requiring professional medical attention, and we took him to the local NHS hospital.  On both occasions, he was treated quickly and efficiently and with a degree of kindness and compassion that I've not seen in any US medical facility.  I'll reiterate - we paid NOTHING.  I'll be the first to admit that two data points may not be representative of an entire system, but, and I'll be perfectly forthright with you here, I don't really give a shit, let alone two of them, about whether my experience represents the entire system.  I only present my personal experience of it.

3.  "It rains a lot".  This is a completely unfounded assertion. Philadelphia received, over the course of more than 100 years, 70% more annual rainfall than London (source).  I rarely carry an umbrella in London, and although I can't say that I don't ever get wet, I get less wet here walking the 20 minutes or so to and from the train than I ever did while hatlessly navigating interminable suburban American carparks.  It's also worth adding here that while London does have a somewhat lower average temperature - 50 degrees F versus Philadelphia's comparatively balmy 54 degrees - the temperature here falls within a 24 degree band while Philadelphia's fluctuates by 44 degrees on average.  Put differently, the summers here may be cool, but the winters are warm.  Yes, I enjoy the change of seasons, but while I don't even own a heavy coat, there's a good chance that you're wearing yours now if you live in the Northeast US.

4.  "The transport system breaks down."  Yeah, that one's probably true.  On the other hand, London transport does actually GO to most of the places I need to get to.  Even now, after several drinks, I can think of no fewer than eight ways to get to work from where I live.  Some are more useful than others, but they all get me where I need to go, and the diversity of routes means that I have a fair few alternates when one is broken.  By way of comparison, let's say that I wanted to get from Downingtown (where we lived before moving here) to West Conshohocken (where I worked before moving here) using only public transport. The website of SEPTA, the regional Transport Authority, offers the following helpful instructions: "Dear customer, nearby to the given address stations could not be found. Perhaps timetable data of local transport associations is missing. We hope for your understanding."  OK, so public transport's out, let's drive.  If I were driving between the same points in the US, there were at most four different routes, one involving a dirt road skirting a Chester County cow pasture, and even that one was prone to backups.  I can find my way anywhere in London given a postcode.  It might take me a bit longer and I might be jostled on a crowded platform or sweat through my clean shirt, but goddammit, I'll probably get there and if I don't, I can always pour myself into a cab.  Oh, and by the way I pay £123 a month for this service.  Again, this compares favorably to the monthly cost of a car - payment, interest, maintenance and fuel.

5.  "There are no good restaurants".  Again, patently false.  Tonight, we ate at a Korean BBQ that opened around the corner from us.  A Google search for "London and Restaurant" yields 701,000 results.  A similar search for "Philadelphia and Restaurant" returns a comparatively lean 115,000 hits, despite Philadelphia's recent eatery renaissance.  One need but scratch the vacuous surface of Philadelphia's restaurant listings to find a Stephen Starr establishment at one's corner, occupying a previously vacant lot or a former Bolshevik diner.  Of course one can't compare these results directly, but the sheer magnitude of the difference in the numbers tells its own story. 

London is not without its faults.  The frequent altercations, both large and small, that I manage to get myself into at bus stops, tube stations and on the pavement outside my office are certainly examples of why this is not Utopia.  Sometimes the restuarants are not fabulous, the lights are not terribly bright, the schools not all that good.  But on balance, this city is where I live, it's where I feel comfortable, it's where I belong.  Though my life here may be short of middling, I love it anyway.

And now, it's time to leave this, all beauty and conflict, behind.  The Buddhists say that the path to happiness lies in letting go - of people, of places, of things.  I may only aspire to such greatness, or even to littleness.  I can't even let go of my morning commute without a struggle.