O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Despite having worked in the financial services industry for much of my career, I have a track record of bad investments. I pooh-poohed AOL in the early 90's, bought Starbase (SBAS) at $3.50 just before it dropped to like $0.00001 and thought the Google IPO at $180 was too expensive (the stock recently topped $400).

One notable exception to this pattern, however, was my Swivel Straight Christmas Tree Stand (As Seen On TV!). I don't think they even sell these anymore, but in 1996 when I first moved to Philadelphia, they were all the rage. It has a separate bucket into which the tree is placed and secured, then the bucket assembly is inserted into sort of a ball socket device, which you can turn and, well, swivel until the tree is straight.

This techology didn't come cheap. At $50, it probably cost more than my couch, but it avoided all of the Christmas tree hassle, the tree never fell over, and it lasted for years.

Last year, I allowed myself to be talked into a new-fangled tree stand with a single spike that inserts into a pre-drilled hole in the bottom of the tree. Great concept, except for three things: not every tree place drills holes, not every tree place that drills holes drills them straight, and no tree place in the UK has ever thought of drilling a hole. So this wonderful tree stand (which, by the way, fell over last year, depositing a gallon of sappy water on the carpet of our old family room) is utterly useless.

True to form, I also decided, for reasons still unclear to me, to sell my perfectly servicable Swivel Straight Christmas Tree Stand (As Seen On TV!) for something like $5 to a neighbor before we moved. So now we have no tree stand. Great strategy, Conroy.

Michele bought two strands of lights, one of which didn't work. On returning that one, she could only find sets for £15. I realize I complain a lot about how expensive things are here, but come on. $30 for 100 friggin' Christmas lights? They don't even play an annoying tune.

Speaking of expensive, we did a little shopping yesterday in Wimbledon Village. For those of you who've been here, Wimbledon Village is the nice end of Wimbledon. We live in the other end. We looked at some nice trees whilst there and nearly bought one before we found out it was £50. You do the math. That's one expensive tree. It ought to come with a manservant to water it for that price.

Ours was a bit cheaper. We bought it down the street at the guy who sells flowers on the corner when the mood strikes him. He was there when we moved in and we thought "How nice! We have a flower stall right down the street". Then he buggered off and we didn't see him again until about a month ago. Apparently the flower business allows him to take the summer off. Or maybe it's the Christmas tree business where he really makes his money.

I carried the tree from the corner. It was kind of funny, me carrying a tree down the road. I got a lot of looks from people, which is unusual, because it seems that no matter what you do here, no one will look at you. It's sort of an institutionalized ignorance.

So now, tree decorated, I am roasting a chicken while Michele writes out more Christmas cards. Next year, e-cards for everyone. Now that would have been a good investment.