Telephones, Technology and Toothpaste

In general, I think we have too many choices. "Paper" or "Plastic"? "Regular" or "Extra Strength"? "Whitening" or "Minty Fresh"? Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm not in favor of choices. I like choices. Choices like "Gin" or "Vodka"? But in truth, most of these choices that we're presented with on a daily basis are inconsequential and making the decision is, in my opinion, an unnecessary expenditure of energy. Plastic doesn't cost me any more than paper, and they both seem equally bad for the environment (I'm sure someone will correct me on this. Amy?). I get both yellow teeth AND bad breath from drinking coffee, so it really doesn't matter which toothpaste I choose. And why anyone would choose something called "Regular" over "Extra Strength" is beyond me.

But there are also those choices which are important, or at least there are those to which I am required to give more consideration than whether I prefer "Glossy" or "Matte". And it's about these that there seems to be the least amount of useful guidance. I'm talking specifically about the choice of landline, mobile, broadband and TV providers in the UK.

Interestingly, one of my friends in the UK predicted that I'd be disappointed by the lack of choice I'll have for these services in the UK compared to what he presumed to be the variety that I have in the US. In fact, I'm more addled than disappointed. In the US, I can choose from exactly one cable provider (Comcast - they're the only one left anyway). I can also choose from exactly one broadband provider, also Comcast, since no one else could be bothered to run wires to my part of the planet. I can choose among several landline providers, but the difference in price is minimal as compared to the difference in service (ironically, the term "dial tone" seems to have little meaning to some of them), so it's Verizon for that. And for mobile phone service, the only one that actually seems to work in my area is Verizon, so it was an easy decision.
In the UK, though, I can choose among a landline phone company and a satellite TV provider that also both provide broadband and internet phone service, a mobile provider that offers broadband, and a cable company that can give me broadband and mobile (and, interestingly, CDs and airplane tickets and probably a credit card). I've probably missed some, but you get the gist.

Having these choices is a good thing. It's the complexity of making the choice that's a problem, because there are so many factors to consider. I just want some meaningful way of comparing them. Is one provider's lower monthly fee offset by that provider's higher charges for international calls? Does another's inexpensive mobile+broadband service mean that Michele will also pay more to call me? And, since I have to pay the landline company for the rental of a phone line anyway, would it be cheaper or easier to also get broadband from the landline provider?

It's not like I don't have the tools or the mental acuity to figure it out. My point is that I shouldn't have to figure it out. Because not only do I have to figure it out, but so does everyone else faced with a similar decision. The technology exists to enable such companies to provide their rates and other useful information in a standard format to enable people like me to compare prices and plans and make an informed decision that's right for me (or better yet, to enable someone else to do so from whom I can then simply buy the analysis). So why don't these providers, who certainly have the technical resources to do so, probably in about the time it took me to write this, take advantage of these technologies? I've got to think it's because doing so would be all downside for most providers. Purveyors of commodity services like telephone have a vested interest in making us believe that there's a substantive difference between them. The best way they can do this is to lure us to their flashy websites where they can dazzle is with bullshit marketing while obfuscating their pricing structures. Putting their pricing front and center is exactly what these guys don't want, because then they'll be forced to compete on the one metric that actually distinguishes them.

Nor is this a UK-specific complaint. It just happens to be that I'm having to make numerous decisions like this in an unusually short period of time, so I'm a slightly chafed from the experience.

In the end, I'll probably just choose the vendor that requires me to do the least amount of work: the landline provider. Since I already have to call them to hook up the phone, it should be an easy transaction to add broadband.

OK, now I'm going to go brush my teeth.