The Dream

It's just like the dream.

You know the one - the dream where you are walking the halls of your high school, those interminably long and dimly lit corridors, both sides lined with spotty teenagers in pastels, teased hair and Drakkar Noir.  As you strut, you slowly realize that something is amiss.  All the other kids - cool, rich, geeky, gay - their conversations stop mid-sentence, Valley Girl aphorisms half-formed on their lips.  They are suspended in time, their spiky hair and leg warmers frozen as you pass.  In the dream, you are naked.  And everyone knows that you are naked.  Their shock gives way to deep and abiding amusement.  Your only salvation is to move.

You will never live this down.  Never.

It's just like that, except in this dream, I am not naked.  And it's not a dream.  Instead, I am the only one wearing a costume.  There is nothing worse than being the only one to show up to a fancy dress party in fancy dress.  Or, rather, I suppose there are some worse things - being accidentally lobotomized, for example.  Still.  Wearing a costume at a party where you don't know anyone, and when everyone else is in their street clothes ranks as one of life's less pleasant experiences.

Poor Michele wore black lipstick and nail polish so she couldn't really hide, and her pointy black hat and fishnet stockings were anything but inconspicuous.  At least I found an excuse to take off my white wig (the fine plastic hair was continually lodging between my molars, so when someone shattered a wine glass on the tile floor, I was only too happy to take the damned thing off and help clean up).

English people are not into Halloween.  Maybe this is why I am so comfortable here.  English people enjoy flat beer, billiards and lawn bowling.  They build monuments to fallen World War One heroes.  They wear poppies on Remembrance Day.  They do not don ridiculous outfits simply because it is the end of October and they fancy a sweet.  The English are an eminently sensible people, I think.

Michael enjoyed himself, though.  He dressed as a wizard, with a Phillies shirt underneath.  Everyone thought the pointy wizard's cap was part of the baseball uniform.  For all I know, it is.  Someone will probably correct me on this point.

When, oh when will Thanksgiving come?